As stated in the Rules
You know them as taboo topics. Subjects OFF LIMITS if we have any intention of aspiring to the heights of the non-offending , tolerant, thoughtful, and un-bloodied.
It doesn’t require the mind of Solomon to figure out the wisdom in this accustomed rule. A few heated venom spewing, flame throwing wars disagreements are all that’s necessary to get the gist.
Not an especially surprising revelation, since, if we’re being honest, isn’t it true that very few of us encourage, appreciate, or respond well to unsolicited opinions, blatant know-it-all-isms, or bossy-pants directives? We make the effort to play fair with the expectation that the courtesy will be returned in kind. Sure, we waver now and again when logic and passion collide to cloud our thinking with the needling pain of a bad toothache. But nevertheless, we understand to hold our tongues, barring the occasional lecture served up over the supper table, where our nearest and dearest are obliged held at fork point to listen to our rants if they have any hope of our passing the meatloaf before hell freezes over.
It all happens so innocently
We’re still nursing the morning cup, scrolling through the recent scoops on Facebook: amusing quips, pet photos, drama queen updates — when all at once –we see it — The Bait.
HUH??? What? What the …. How rude! And WRONG. Crap. What a boob.
You scroll away.
But then you’re back. You can’t help it. Just for the sake of curiosity. No harm in skimming through the handful of comments posted by those not so politically correct or courteous as you.
Seriously? Ridiculous.
Scroll away.
Back.
You’ve got to be kidding? No rational person would ever agree with something so idiotic. Ten *Likes*? TEN people LIKE this outlandish baloney? What brand of lunacy would inspire anyone to agree with this load of steaming, reeking poo? There must be someone out there in possession of a working brain. So where are they? Why aren’t they saying something? Why isn’t someone responding to this insane realignment of fact?
The truth is
While we might be occasionally successful in stiffing our opinions, it’s our hardcore convictions that consistently pop the lid off the box. At which point, expressing The Real Deal feels all-consuming essential in the face of blatantly heinous misconceptions.
Because, no exaggeration, when it comes to _______ and _________, I personally know my stuff. Really. No really, I’ve got it covered. This is my topic, my territory. I’ve got this–inside out, upside down, full to overflowing–I KNOW THIS!
And yet, I know better
Right? I know the pointless, rarely won impossible to win, brutal nature of engaging in sticks-and-stones battles in public places STOP! DANGER! Social media ahead.
And So
Scroll back — this is it. One quick and final look.
YES!!!
At last! The White Knight of Wisdom and Courage, one whose convictions are richer and truer than the cowardice of politeness, has swept in to plant the very words I myself am too non-offending cowardly to offer myself. At the very least I will “Like” this sterling comment of honesty and truth. A click of solidarity …
Wait …but doesn’t a “Like” rate nearly the same as saying it myself? What if someone–someone near and dear–notices my Like and is offended? Maybe the best plan of action is to wait. Creep back quietly under cover of night. While Facebook is asleep and no one is looking. A quick, drive-by click.
Truth vs Honestly vs Everything Else
It’s all such a confused and slippery slope. At what point does thoughtfully keeping the yap shut translate as an act of cowardice, rather than stately wisdom. Akin to backing away with hands thrown in the air when every fiber is insisting we lock-and-load. How much of the urge to respond to another persons “stuff” is a byproduct of our own pride and know-it-all-itis, as opposed to true heart and soul convictions? The difficult to restrain human tendency of needing to have the last word–slamming headlong with the inspiration to impart life-saving sacred truth in the face of deranged misconception? Just how important or necessary is it to get our opinions and convictions out there for everyone to see?
Sigh…
I’m still working to rearrange the furniture in my comfort zone. More or less treading lightly, when the better plan might very well be to leap directly into the deep end. Grab hold of those unshakable-top-tier convictions and hold on for a rollicking ride over a bumpy road.
And, how are you doin? What’s your tendency when it comes to speaking-up, lending opinion, spouting your fountain of truth? The spotlight is yours *hands you the microphone…*
Barbara Forte Abate 
Social Media discussion is like tatoos on your teenager. You may not approve, but if you argue every dot of ink, they’ll tune you out when your deepest objections arise.
Holy smokin’ taboos, but you nailed it beautifully, Sherry! In many ways it really isl kind’ve like the modern day, social media version, of Peter & the Wolf. Incessantly sounding the alarm and grabbing the spotlight to the point of having the cord yanked, so there’s no interest and no audience for the BIG STUFF.
I have such a wide variety of friends and acquaintances, and well, perfect strangers even! that I am “in touch with” that there is usually something where I’m rolling my eyes or going “WTF?” or nodding my head in solidarity. I’m pretty careful about what I comment on or like – most all the time. But, if I feel very strongly about something, then I want to kick ass about it! 😀
I know what you mean about waiting for someone else to voice certain things and then “liking” it – teehee – I’ve done that
… and then there are those triple WTF moments!
While true it’s never a good thing to react to everything ridiculous or contrare to our convictions (unless we happen to be starring in a reality show, in which case all bets are off), there’s something absolutely exhilarating about launching into kick-ass-passionate-mode when certain big ticket items land on the burner and some boob comes along and turns up the heat :-O
laughing! 😀
I’m more likely to speak up when the WTF moments come around, when the idea of NOT saying something becomes more outrageous than whatever it is I can comment on. I choose carefully what I respond to on social media even more so than what I do in person because then the words are “out there” in a more permanent fashion.
“…when the idea of NOT saying something becomes more outrageous than whatever it is I can comment on.” Frankly my dear, I believe you’ve nailed it beautifully. When we find ourselves obsessing over the stuff we SHOULD have said to the point we’re saying it a bazillion times in our heads, it might just be nature’s way of saying we should’ve said something!
Even as far back as the dinosaur days of my youth (pre-social media), I lived by the rule “Never put in writing what you might regret later.” Fast forward to present day, and it’s still the rule of the day. You said it best, Tami, once it’s “out there” in a more permanent fashion, it’s REALLY out there. FOREVER! And that’s seriously spooky stuff.
Thought provoking. I agree with just about everything you’ve said. One way I keep myself from responding is that I know most of my Facebook friends in a business capacity. So I practice work manners. But sometimes it’s really hard to keep my know-it-allsims to myself. 😉
Hey, Catie!
Ah, but to think what a wonderful world (at least for starters) if we all made an effort to abide by “work manners.” You are so right when you mention how hard it can be to keep our own know-it-allsims underwraps in the face of over-the-top nonsense. And yet, we know it’s necessary if we want to avoid falling into the trap of being just another loud-mouthed jerk.
I have to wonder how being rude managed to become equated with honesty in some circles. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Rude is still rude no matter how you spell it.
Great points and some great discussion. I’m far more likely to agree and like than be provocative… the times I am I provocative I consider it extremely carefully and phrase it just so. And it has to be as Tami said…
What I find difficult sometimes is not to rip the heads off people whose comments on my status annoy me — usually it’s because they’re offering advice, which annoys the hell out of me (unless I’ve asked for it!). I guess it’s one of the pitfalls of venting and ranting on facebook, but most people know better. Sometimes I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from responding snarkily.
Well said, Ellen! All of which furthers the conviction that, by and large, we’re pretty much peace seeking people. Right up to the point when someone comes along and pokes us with a stick
While true some of our “back at cha” rants are essential (impossible to suppress without danger of stroke) I sincerely make an effort not to fall for the bait of blatant nonsense. Not that it’s easy. Having our personal space dive-bombed can leave us with an unshakable conviction that the time has come to take up arms and start blasting in self-defense.
When sitting on my hands becomes painful, I find it helpful to leave the scene of the crime altogether–walk away and stay away as long as possible. Pleased by my resolve to say cool…until the next time …